He's a player. Diarrhea giver

June 25, 2008
(The Plague)
From the Journal of Derek Rury

This place still has the plague. I mean, really? The plague? It is actually kind of cool. As stupid as it sounds, I had always though about the idea of getting some foreign disease or sickness and how cool it would be to tell people that I once had it. Until recently, Malaria had seemed like the illness that would get me the most street cred. But the plague is like the mother of all sicknesses. If I got the plague, I would have the perfect conversation starter, “Umm…..So I had the plague. Yeah, that’s right. THE Plague,”. I mean, there aren’t personifying poems about HIV or cholera. Only the plague. And if I did manage to contract the plague and die from it, just imagine the historical context my death would automatically be placed in. Whenever people would watch period movies about medieval Europe that had people dying of the plague, they could say, “My friend died of that. The plague finally got him.” It’s kinda’ like saying, “Yeah, Steve isn’t with us anymore. Musket shot right to the chest. But that’s what you get for getting involved in a revolution,” or “Have you heard about Bob? He got the guillotine. Shouldn’t look at the king that way, I guess,”. We went over the symptoms of the plague today, and let me tell you, I can’t wait ‘till I get a marble sized growth around my inflamed crotchal lymph nodes. All I would need to do is buy an old, dirty cloak and work on walking while dragging my left leg.

Dysentary Gary - Blink 182